LEARNING THAI - AND THOSE TONES!

There are those among us who find it easy to learn another language, even one as complex as Thai. My friend Shaun is one of these, not only can he speak it almost fluently (enough to appear in countless TV series and movies) he can also read and write Thai. He even reads the Thai newspapers. Then there are those, like myself, who struggle with another lingo that could never learn this tonal language in a gazillion years. I have more chance of learning ancient Aramaic from an alcoholic Russian with a strong Glaswegian accent.

I have tried, believe me. After my first holiday here in 1979, Thailand became an obsession of sorts and I couldn't wait to return. I thought it would enhance the experience considerably to learn the language, so I purchased two books. one called 'Easy Thai' (yeah, right!) and the name of the other escapes me, it was something simple like 'Learning Thai' and was a deadly earnest tome.

It was first printed in the 1940's when of course they had a different way of putting things. The introduction explained about the tones and the vast number of consonants and vowels. It concluded with a paragraph explaining that while study of the lessons in this book were useful (and I'm not making this up!) the best way to learn the language is to have as much intercourse with the Thais as possible.

I think the word 'intercourse' in the 40's meant talking to, interacting with, but I took no chances anyway and fully embraced their advice.

A considerable number of expats that have been here many years manage only a basic grasp of the language and as for myself, I have great command of what is known as 'Taxi Thai' which means you know enough to tell a taxi driver, 'left here', 'right here' 'straight on' and 'where the ****! are you going?' to get to your destination.

A lot also depends on who you learn it from. Many foreigners speak great 'bar-girl' Thai from their girlfriends or wives, much to the amusement of 'ordinary' Thais. The equivalent would be an educated Thai girl learning her English from a foul-mouthed Cockney.

What defeats me are the tones. Take the word 'Mai'. It has 5 different meanings depending on the tone. For example, 'Is the wood burning?' 'No the new silk is burning.' translates as 'Mai mai mai?' 'Mai, mai mai mai.'

Simple really. Another good one is the word 'Glai' which means near and 'Glai' which means far. Ask your Thai friend to pronounce both and see if you can tell the difference.

The subtlety of the tones is what gets me. When I had my business in Bangkok I had a sales girl called Moy. No-one corrected my tone until I was telling my ex-missus (we are still great friends) about her and she burst out laughing. 'What's her name again?' She said. 'Moy.' I replied. More laughter. It turned out that I had been calling her 'Pubic hair' for 3 months but my staff were too polite to correct me.

The tone is all important. If you do not pronounce the word perfectly to a Thai, they have no idea what you are talking about. Unlike Westerners, they don't seem to be able to guess what you mean from the context of the other words. As an example, if I were in London and a tourist asked me 'Where is Piladdicy Circus please?' my brain (as yours did just then) makes that quantam leap in a fraction of a second that what they mean is Piccadilly Circus and you direct them accordingly. Thais don't do this.

I have a theory that it is to do with Thai culture and the issue of 'face'. They hate to be embarrassed and to lose face in a social situation, so they would rather pretend that they didn't understand than make an interpretation and look silly or be laughed at.

A quick way to understand the tone is if you remember the movie 'Close Encounters of the Third Kind and the tonal signal that the aliens used to communicate with us and apply it to this word, Mai, mai, mai, mai, mai.

I'm not comparing Thai to an intergalactic language, just that I find it as difficult to learn!

Another killer for me was trying to read Thai. It is all clumped together. I am sure there is a good reason for this, other than just trying to make it as difficult as possible. Perhaps it is an ecological thing, getting rid of that waste of space between words must save a huge number of trees!

ImaginehowdifficultitwouldbeforsomeonelearningEnglishtohavetocutthisintoindividualwords. I think we should ask them nicely to change their ways and do it for us.

I hope I haven't put you off of learning Thai. You may be one of those that pick it up straight away. There are some great schools and some private teachers out there. For the rest of us, it is back to our taxi Thai, so until next time,

Chok Dee and Sawatdee Krap!

Submitted by : Ben
22-July-11

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