- DO take sufficient money. Although a paying sexual encounter, by western standards, is relatively cheap, you may become sex-crazed and go through all your money in record time; plus the fact, the ladies are ingenious when it comes to extracting your lucre. Pace yourself.
- DO experiment. What’s on offer is Go-Go bars where the ladies are often semi-clad or even nude, so you see what you’re getting in advance; beer bars, where the idea is to get you to spend as much as possible on drinks before bar-fining and taking the lady back to your hotel; short-time bars, similar to beer bars, except with en-suite bedrooms; lady-houses, usually only for Thais; 500 Baht pick-ups in discos, and short-time encounters on Beach Road, but these ladies have a high turn over and are dangerous in terms of STDs.
- DO expect to have to pay for bar-fines (the fee to take the lady out of the bar), lady drinks and the lady. Go-Go bars charge the most because the females are well-above average, so you can expect to pay bar fines of c.500 Baht and between c.1-3,000 Baht, depending on the lady. Beer bars are much cheaper, but the cheapest is bars with en-suite bedrooms where the average all-in price is 500 Baht, plus drinks. Try Soi 6.
- DO use a condom, unless you both want to get blood-tests to eliminate AIDS, gonorrhoea, TB and hepatitis risks.
- DO appreciate that the ladies usually have to support a family back home.
- DO be generous, otherwise you’ll be cheated, gain a bad-reputation and be shunned by the ladies.
- DO keep your wits about you, especially after dark.
Pattaya Gogo Dancers
- DON’T confuse lust and love. The ladies are past-mistresses at beguiling you.
- DON’T take too many ladies from the same bar. They can be very jealous and murderous. Bobbitting (having your genitals cut off) is no idle threat!
- DON’T buy too many lady drinks. The bar-owner and ladies become too avaricious and it’s bad for the rest of us!
- DON’T believe everything the ladies tell you, especially if they speak good English, wear fashionable clothes and lots of gold. They’ve been around forever!
- DON’T promise to send your chosen lady 30,000 Baht a month to stay away from bar-work and remain faithful to you. They often have 2 or 3 star-struck foreign lovers on a string and Thai boyfriends as well!
- DON’T go home, sell up and return to get married. Not unless you can support yourself. Jobs are difficult to come by.
- DON’T put property or cars in your wife/girlfriend’s name, if you return to get married. Form a company and buy that way.
- DON’T ejaculate more than once every 20 days if you’re over 60. The protein loss is too high. (bit unrealistic that one)
- DON’T overuse Viagra or combine it with excessive alcohol if you have high blood pressure or a weak heart.
- DON’T wear gold or expensive watches. You’ll loose them!